June 8, 2006

Well I have my appintment today.. My last one was 2 weeks ago because the doc's office cancelled on me. I was suppose to go on June 1st but Dr P had the flu so they booked me for today. No big deal, the other doc looked at all my past films and said everything looked ok and I should be just fine til I see her today.. It's off to the appointment I go with a great big smile..

I get the the docs office and check in as usual. They give me a pee cup like usual and then bring me to the room, check my weight and blood pressure and have me get undressed from the waist down. As i'm waiting Dr P comes in and asks me how i'm doing and apologizes for not being in last week. My responce is "that's ok, we don't want your cootie bugs" and we laugh. As I tell her i've actually been feeling really good, she has me lay down to check where my cervix is before she does the internal ultra sound. Then I head a uh oh..
Umm that's can't be good, the last uh oh i got was when i had Chase..
She looks at me and said hunny you are starting to dialate.. At that very second my body just shut down. Shock was not the word for it. i wanted Chuck with me, i wanted my mom, and i wanted someone who could fix this.. She asked me if I knew what this meant and i said "I'm waiting for the words to come from you" So she told me I was on extensive bed rest... OK
She was at this point kicking herself for not stitching my cervix closed previously, but per all my ultrasounds, nothing showed a change, so nothing would prompt them to stitch me.
Dr P kept me calm and sent me home. My orders where I was out of work, I was not to leave the house unless it was to see the her, I was not to get up at all unless it was to go to the bathroom and I was not ti sit straight up at all. If i was eating it was a semi sitting angle.. I had to have someone do everything for me. Cook, clean, get me this and get me that. Sounds great huh... Well it sucked, but i was willing to stand on my head if they asked me to.
I left the doctors office and called Chuck, I was trying to stay calm and told him what the doctor said, then i began to cry. he told me he was leaving work and would be home when i got there.
I then called my mom (still sitting in my car in the parking garage to emotional to drive) and I just cried... She was so worried about me, and all I could think about was i couldn't go through this again.. I got off the phone, pulled myself together and drove home... When i got there I went straight to bed.