July 5, 2006

I'm not having a good day today. I am having this over whelming feeling of worry. I'm sure the over whelming feeling of missing Aiden when we got home last night and when I went to bed didn't help either. I can't help it though. The last few nights I've come home I've secretly sat and cried cause I miss him so so much. I want so badly to take him home and for him to just be ok.
Then the intern resident talking to us today, or to Chuck I should say because to me it was more like the teacher on the peanuts talking (blah blah blah) words came out and her lips are moving but it was all a blur to me after a certain point. She talked about surgery and not wanting to remove the drains yet and his gut having air and the drains still draining. Then about not being able to feed him and the lack of nutrition. Oh and don't forget the blood pressure.
She just crushed our hopes, it was a jumble of bad out comes and things that can happen (or in her eyes will happen) all to say Aiden is sick, he can't eat, we have no idea when we will be able to feed him and he really needs to eat, and oh by the way his blood pressure sucks too. I don't think I have ever talked to a person so negitive. I don't think she took the course in "What not to say to a parent of a NICU baby"