August 10, 2006

Well yesterday Aiden was doing really good on the vent that they weened him down some more and when they did a blood gas this morning it was good so I was told he was going to CPAP at noon time. I got out of work at 2, got to the hospital and YES he was on CPAP and doing really well. We had our family meeting with the doctor and it was all good new. Aiden was doing well on the vent and was now on CPAP, that he is gaining weight and it seems to be actually weight not fluid weight (some is fluid but not like before when he was super puffy). And he is still getting the trophic feeds of 2cc's every 4 hrs. They did however talk about cutting him back to 1cc since as of yesterday he was having problems digesting the milk. It seems like it is taking him longer then 4 hrs to digest 2cc's and sometimes he doesn't digest it at all. Part of this could be just the fact that his belly hasn't really been working for 8 weeks, now all of a sudden, it has something to do and is a bit over whelmed. The doc chose to keep giving him 2cc's but to change it from breast milk to pergestimil. It's a formula that is easier to digest. We will see if this works but so far it's about the same. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I think in all due time it will work out and his belly will be ok. Or I hope anyway, I try my hardest not to worry and stay positive, but it does scare me that he isn't eating like a "normal" baby or even the other babies that were born close to his age. I then have to remind myself they didn't get NEC and Aiden will be ok.
Now as for this CPAP thing. Well I know it's a good thing but I almost cried tonight when I left. Actually I did cry. They changed the little nose guard they put on him to protect his nose and he was so happy when they took it all off. Then when they put it back on, he hated it. His poor nose looked so sore and he just looked at me like "mom tell them to stop".
I so wish that he didn't need any of this, but since he does, I have to deal I have no choice in the matter. I'm just so affraid it's going to hurt his little nose, or reshape it to grow funny. He's been through so much, the last thing I want is for him to have something else to go wrong.

It's just fustrating. He's doing good and 2 months old tomorrow. He'll be 9 weeks on sunday and I am just so tired of leaving him behind. I just want to have him home with us. For him to be here snuggled in his crib where he belongs. Not in the NICU going through one thing after another, with a million people taking care of him. Granted I love his primary team, but I just want to finally take care of him and know he is ok. The next 8 weeks can not go by fast enough.

Please y'all keep them prayers coming. Pray we all make it to a very happy ending..