There isn't much to tell today.. They started increasing Aiden's feeds. He is now at 7cc's per feed every 4 hrs. (A full feed righ now would be 40cc's) So far so good, we will have to see how it goes. Besides that the only other new thing is the resident doctor told me tonight she orderd another hearing test for Aiden, for tomorrow. I asked her if it could have been the atmosphere, room noise kinda stuff, or just that he didn't want to be bothered, that made the other one come back abnormal, and she said not really. She told me that the test they do is really good and it measures the babies hearing by the movement of the hair that is in the ears when you hear sound. She said if this test, the one tomorrow, comes back as abnormal too, then he will have to go to childrens for a different one. But most likely if this test is abnormal too, then that means Aiden has some deafness. How much we don't know yet, all I do know is one ear is worse then the other but neither ear was good. I'm kinda bummed out about this. It really bothers me and brings tears to my eyes that my little boy may never be able to hear us, he may never hear his momma's voice or me say I love you... I'm trying not to let it get to me but just typing this makes me cry.
Once again fustration sets in, as I say to myself over and over.. What next.. When is it going to stop. How can so much happen to one innocent little boy..
I remember when he was smaller, I would get there and as soon as I was talking he'd wake up. I know he heard me, I just know it. Tonight I tried talking to him and he didn't even open his eyes. Part of me says it was cause he was just sleepy and comfy, but then I have to ask myself if I am just in denial. Right now all I'm asking for is to please let them be wrong..
Please all keep praying for Aiden, and pray with all you have that he will get over this and his test tomorrow comes back normal...
I can't bare to think of my little boy going through everything he has gone through to then have to grow up deaf and have another challange he will live with forever. It's just not fair...
I love you Little Man... Soooo much... You are truly mommy's amazing little boy and I love you more then life. Sleep well and know I'm laying there next to you, until I see you tomorrow.. XO
3 comments:
Hang in there, Jess... He's doing so well, and he's conquered so so much! This is but another bump in the road. I have faith that you and Chuck and Aiden will tackle this hurdle with all the grace and strength that have brought you this far. Aiden is a miracle baby... He has defied the odds time and again. Please know that there are so many people praying for that precious boy...and those prayers and your love will carry him through the challenges he continues to face.
You are all in our thoughts and prayers.
I know it's hard, but you have to know that some day it'll all be okay. We're going to look at each other and say, God what a nightmare that was. I can't wait for that. I can't wait to watch our boys play together and grow up being the trouble two-some I know they will be. Take care and I'll see you soon.
Please don't clog your positive energy flow with the negative "what if's". I know....easier said than done! Focus on the day that is and the positive things it brings. Never stop believing in the miracles that have happened and those that are still to happen. Celebrate Aiden's life and his determination to stay with you! He knows that you love him. It is a bond that you will always share, with or without hearing the spoken word. As always, my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
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